Close to Life
by SarahJ96
Summary: The almost unbearably slow build up of the relationship between Sister Bernadette and Doctor Turner and their inner-thoughts. Starting in Season 1 Episode 6 and finishing whenever an ending seems appropriate. DISCLAIMER: I do not own anything. It all belongs to Jennifer Worth, Heidi Thomas and the BBC.
1. Chapter 1

**Hi Everyone! This is my first attempts at a Fan Fiction or writing in general. This may be a slow and painful relationship but I think the best ones are. I hope you enjoy it!**

**Sorry if their was any confusion to previous readers of this chapter! There was meant to be a row of 'XXXX' between some paragraphs to indicate scene change but it did not get publish that way. Here is an edited version of this chapter. Sorry for the confusion.**

"How did she get out dressed like that?" questioned Doctor Turner, a touch of annoyance stood out in his usually kind voice while he strolled down the corridor.

Sister Bernadette walking beside him sighed and said sweetly in her Scottish accent, "We love Sister Monica Joan, Doctor, and we do the best we can for her…"

Sighing again she looked into the Doctors eyes, her voice full of concern, "…but it wouldn't be right to lock her in her room."

Nearing the front door of Nonnatus House they stop walking and turned to face one another. Sister Bernadette spoke again and confessed "Besides the truth is, we don't know whether she has dementia or whether she is just wilfully eccentric?"

"I understand, there are more medical treaties as written about senile decay than you can shake a stick at." Stated Doctor Turner, his deep voice now returned to its usual kindness.

"But I keep to one invariable diagnostic rule, if their brought back by a police man in their nightie then they've got it." He said, his voice joking yet completely serious, "For now the pneumonia is the real concern…"

"The old people's friend" She said quietly cutting him off, both her voice and face full of worry.

"If they are ready to go it takes them gently," Said Doctor Turner "We could try penicillin but if she has any family I think they should be sent for."

"She has been estranged from her family since she took her vows" explained Sister Bernadette "The head of our order, Mother Jesu Emanuel, is really her next of kin."

"I'll go call her at once." She said.

Doctor Turner nodded and gave the woman a small smile before he turned and walked out the doors. She watched him for a few moments before dashing off to call the mother house.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sister Bernadette closed the door behind her thinking how good it was to be finally out of the cold and into the warmth of Nonnatus House. She had just arrived back from a successful delivery of a rather large baby girl and was glowing with the happiness she felt after each delivery. But what was not to be happy about? So many good events had happened in the last two months everyone at Nonnatus couldn't keep a smile of their face.

After Sister Monica Joan's little escapade to the dock she made a full recovery from pneumonia, with a little help from penicillin and bed rest. If the Nun's and midwifes of the house thought that she may exercise a little more caution after her ordeal they were to be proven wrong. About a week after her recovery she did not seem to remember a thing and was back to her… eccentric self again.

Chummy is now known as 'Nurse Noakes' after marrying one of the local policemen. It was such a wonderful occasion seeing the nurses in all their pretty frocks and smile upon their faces. Seeing the girls growing up and getting married fills Sister Bernadette with joy, to see their hearts overflowing with love. When it came to the throwing of the bouquet, all the girls were desperately jumping around trying to catch the flowers. It came as a surprise when it landed in the arms of Sister Bernadette, who didn't even register the meaning at first. But Trixie, one of the nurses, has the reputation of a sharp tongue and a quick mind.

"Oh you naughty Nun! Who've you got your eye on?" She shouted out teasingly, winking her eye.

Suddenly it clicked to Sister Bernadette and she found herself blushing furiously and dropping the bouquet.

"I-It's just an old wife's-tale..." She muttered quietly while looking at the ground.

Everyone in the church hall was left giggling, even the older nuns, whom all knew Sister Bernadette was a dedicated Nun and her one love was god. Soon she brushed it off and was laughing with the rest. It really was a magnificent day.

Sister Bernadette was lost in the memories of the past months while sterilising the equipment, it took her a moment to register she was not alone in the room. As she turned her head she saw Doctor Turner leaning against the door frame.

Turning back to her equipment she said "Greetings Doctor."

"I just called in to collect those instruments" He said, while taking a drag on his cigarette.

"Course, nearly done" Said Sister Bernadette, smiling.

"No sign of that new autoclave?" She asked, desperately trying to keep the conversation flowing as for some reason the silence between them unnerved her.

"The department said it would come this week but there has been no joy so far." He replied. They both heard the clacking of heals as Trixie walked into the room.

"You staying for tea, Doctor Turner?" She said, her accent quite proper, "Mrs B's made an absolute Pièce de résistance of yule log."

He chuckled and said politely "Thanks, but I've got Timothy outside in the car."

"Oh dear, housekeepers day off?" Trixie joked cheekily, "Well I'm sure we can pop you something into a paper bag."

The sound of the phone ringing made Trixie rush of to answer the call.

"How is Timothy getting on?" Inquired Sister Bernadette carefully.

"It's been almost a year…" He replied with a touch of sadness in his deep voice, "He's doing well enough. But it will be his first Christmas since his mother died. And I'm worried it might… undo things."

Doctor Turner looked up into the concerned yet kind face of Sister Bernadette.

"I lost my mother when I was very young" She confided, "Children are more resilient than you think."

"Oh… He's made his opinion of my cooking rather clear" He said jokingly, "Fish and chips for us tonight I reckon."

Trixie quickly walked back in and said, "Sorry Doctor, there has been a message from the surgery, an urgent home visit has been requested."

"A lady called Mrs Jenkins." She said before walking back out.

Doctor Turner walked over to Sister Bernadette to collect the equipment she had been cleaning. They both gave each other small smile before he walked off. Her eyes didn't leave his back until he was out of sight. A small part of her wanted to comfort him and Timothy because she understood what they were going through. Especially for the poor boy as it was leading up to Christmas.

XXXXXXXXXX

Christmas had come and gone. Practically the whole town had turned up to see the Scouts perform a nativity seen in the Church hall. Timothy was playing the violin for the scene and Sister Bernadette had seen his eyes light up as his father ran into the hall. Timothy was always complaining that his father was running late. Sister thought it must be hard for him, so young, to understand the importance of his father's job and that lives depend on him. It must also be hard for Doctor Turner to do his work on top of all the motherly duties that were once taken care of, she thought.

They were coming to the end of another Antenatal Clinic and Sister Bernadette was cleaning equipment with Sister Evangelina. Sister Evangelina was having a rant about providing women pain relief in the form of gas.

"It's downright cruel, showing a women pain relief when you can't give it to her!" Argued Sister Evangelina, in her well known gruff manner.

"You can give it to them," Said Sister Bernadette, matter-of-factly "in the maternity home."

"Pfft… maternity home!" Scorned Sister Evangelina.

In barely more than a whisper Sister Evangelina said "Since Doctor Turner lost his wife he's been nothing but grand schemes. We'll have half the east end trying to book in there instead of gritting their teeth and getting on with it!"

The usually calm and kind Sister Bernadette felt a flicker of rage inside her. How could Sister Evangelina be so disrespectful of Doctor Turner? She didn't think they were grand schemes but actually good ideas… How was trying to better the lives of their patients a crime?

"They shouldn't have to grit their teeth and get on with it," Said Sister Bernadette, trying to keep her voice calmer than she felt "all of the younger midwives have been trained in analgesia. I've been trained myself."

Sister Evangelina caught Sister Bernadette trying to clean her glasses yet again.

"When are you going to get yourself to an optician?" Asked Sister Evangelina sounding annoyed, "Your work and your patients will suffer if you can't see what you're doing!"

She gave a small nod of her head, not trusting herself to open her mouth. The rage she felt was still there. Why was she so angry? It was very unlike her. It had been a long day but that was normal for the midwifes. In the end she put it down to a lack of sleep and food… although deep down she knew there must be a different answer.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello Everyone! I hope you are enjoying how the story is progressing. I am actually quite nervous of what you think but feel free to leave a review. Enjoy the second chapter.**

All the sisters and midwifes were sat around the table enjoying a peaceful lunch. It had been a busy week with many deliveries. With gas now available as a reliable form of pain relief almost all mothers over Poplar were demanding it. This meant that Doctor Turner had to attend every delivery on top of his usual rounds. And this had not gone unnoticed by the women at Nonnatus.

"If you ask me Doctor Turner has completely over-reached himself!" Criticised Sister Evangelina.

"Has anyone else noticed a button's come of his clinical coat?" Said Cynthia whose voice was always kind, "He's got no one to sow it on for him."

"Hardly inspires confidence." Scorned Trixie, "Oh, and his poor little boy is looking quite unkempt."

For the second time in the past few weeks, Sister Bernadette felt rage flare inside her. How could they be speaking about Doctor Turner as though he was beneath them? If anything he was their superior! Although he always treats us as equals, because he is kind. No, this time she would stand up for him… because he deserves someone to.

"Speak more respectfully of Doctor, please!" Said Sister Bernadette quite firmly. Although this may seem innocent the others were surprised to hear her voice her opinion, this was strange for Sister Bernadette's usually quiet self. Trixie looked as though she had been slapped.

Her outburst had caused everyone to start staring at her. Sister Bernadette thought that maybe she had been too sharp and so as to lighten the mood said "And I will thank you to hand me the malt loaf."

For the rest of the meal Sister Bernadette ate in silence while keeping her eyes on her plate. Her thoughts were buzzing through her mind. Why had she been so short with the others lately? No, that was not true. She was only short with them when they started to insult Doctor Turner. Why was that? She thought that maybe she felt protective over the Doctor and Timothy because of their current situation… But it had been over a year ago and she did not start feeling this way until about a month ago. What had changed? Was it that he had confided in her at Christmas time? Telling her about his worries for Timothy. Maybe it has dredged up emotions from her childhood and the loss of her mother. That had to be right… didn't it?

XXXXXXXXXX

Sister Bernadette had finally got around to seeing the optician after Sister Evangelina's warning that it would cause her patients to suffer. She truly cared about her work and patients. She had chosen a more fashionable pair than her last pair of round framed glasses. Being a Nun she was bound by certain rules to live a life of poverty but the National Health provided her with a variety of glasses. This time she chose a pair of light glasses with an upswept frame.

She had been eating her breakfast with Cynthia when Trixie walked in causing an absolute fuss over her new glasses.

"Ooooh!" Gasped Trixie excitedly, "Oh Lord! Haha! You did it, you got new specs!"

"My prescription had to be revised, so it did seem justified." Said Sister Bernadette, a little self-consciously. She was not used to the girls gawping over her.

The girls giggled again and Cynthia said honestly "The frames really do suit you. They are much lighter than your old pair."

"Oh it's not the colour. It's absolutely the upsweep! Opens the peepers wider than three coats of mascara!" Said Trixie, who could not keep a grin off her face. Just then Jenny and Chummy walk into the kitchen after their morning rounds.

"Do come and look at Sister Bernadette's glasses." demanded Trixie, "Only be improved by diamanté on the arms!"

"I don't think you can get diamanté on the National Health." chuckled Sister Bernadette.

"Are they on the National Health?" asked Chummy "Oh go on! Indulge me."

Sister Bernadette removed her glasses and handed them to Chummy.

Chummy put them on and asked, "What do you think?"

All four girls broke out in giggles before Chummy said, "I take it the upswept frame and I are not sole mates."

As Sister Bernadette replaced the frames on her face Sister Monica Joan entered the room.

"Sister, it is time to partake with the privilege of silence." She said. Sister Bernadette immediately stopped giggling, her face became serious and then she scurried from the room.

Throughout the great silence Sister Bernadette, knowing her mind should be on other thinks, could not stop thinking about the girls reaction to her glasses. She was not a vain woman, being a nun made that concept a little hard, but she was glad she took the advice of the optician.

"Try these upswept frames. They are all the fashion and I think they would suit your fine features nicely." said the Optician. He handed her the frames and she placed them on her face.

"Mmm… Just as I thought. They look wonderful!" He said kindly, causing the Sister to blush at the compliment. She looked into the mirror and had to agree with him, they did suit her.

She had felt so self-conscious with the girls making such a fuss, she was unused to such things. But she was glad of their approval. Her mind turned to Doctor Turner,

"I wonder if he will like the glasses as much as the girls did?" She thought to herself when sudden confusion hit her, "Why does his opinion matter so much to me anyway? Actually, why does anyone's? It's not as though it is a Nun's place to be fashionable. They are just glasses to help me see. They are essential to my work not my looks. I doubt he even notices the girls only did because of their fashion filled heads."

She turned her attention to her bible for the rest of the silence but Doctor Turner lingered in the back of her mind.

XXXXXXXXXXX

The antenatal clinic had finished a few hours ago but Sister Bernadette found herself riding towards the hall in the darkening streets. She had told Sister Julienne that she had forgotten some of her equipment and was going to ride to collect it but this wasn't the truth… Sister Bernadette felt guilty for lying to Sister Julienne, who was practically a mother to her, but she didn't want her to know.

"It's not like I'm doing anything bad. She wouldn't be mad at me, if anything she would think of it as a kind deed." Thought Sister Bernadette, "I don't know why I want to keep this a secret. Maybe I just don't want to make him feel helpless… like he needs our pity. Or maybe I'm thinking about him more than I care to admit…"

Ever since Cynthia had said that Doctor Turner's clinical coat was missing a button and he had no one to sow it on for him Sister Bernadette could not stop thinking that someone should do it for him. After all he was so busy with his new gas machine he scarcely had time to do essential tasks. She had decided that she would go down to the hall a few hours after the antenatal clinic to sow it back on for him. By this time everyone would be gone and his coat would be hanging on the rack where he usually left it.

As she approached the hall she noticed that the lights were still on. Just as well I came down here as someone had forgotten to turn them off she was thinking as she entered the back room where the equipment was kept. She found herself looking at Doctor Turner who had fallen asleep at a desk with paperwork spread out in front of him.

She didn't know what do and found herself staring at him. He looked about five year younger as he slept. Leaning against one of his arm with his lips slightly parted. She noticed his brow was still furrowed; obviously the stress of his day had followed him into his dreams. Slowly she made her way over to his side and reached an arm out to touch his shoulder to gently wake him.

Doctor Turner's eyes slowly opened and he found himself looking into the bright blue eyes of Sister Bernadette. This must be a dream he thought. Only in his wildest imaginations would he wake to this angelic face full of concern. But as he came to his senses he realised he had fallen asleep at his desk and he was looking at the beautiful face of Sister Bernadette.

"Are you okay Doctor Turner?" She asked looking worried.

He stretched the stiffness out of his back and yawned.

"Yes, sorry Sister. I must have fallen asleep while trying to finish my work." He replied, his voice was still husky from sleep.

"You look different but I can't put my finger on it…" He said, "Oh my! You've got new glasses!"

"Well yes." She said nervously. He did notice, she thought.

"They look fantastic! I've never noticed how blue your eyes were until now." He said, staring into her eyes.

She dragged herself out of his gaze to look at the floor. She was blushing furiously from his compliments and was lost for words.

"I-I… thank you." She stuttered. She had regained her composure enough to look at him again.

"Doctor, you look awfully tired. I think you should be at home trying to get some rest. Won't Timothy be worrying where you are?" She asked.

"Oh no! Timothy… I'm surprised he hasn't come looking for me by now." He said, his brow furrowing deeper.

"I'm sorry for this Sister. I must go." He said holding her gaze.

"There is nothing to apologise for. But you must try to get some rest!" She said.

He gathered his papers putting them into his case and removed his clinical coat before rushing out the door to find Timothy.

Sister Bernadette stood there in a daze, unsure of what just happened. Slowly she collected his coat and started sowing a new button on to it. Her mind was racing and her thoughts were so very jumbled.

"Why was I blushing and stuttering like a school girl with a crush? Because I most definitely don't have one of those. That idea is laughable. The only man I will ever feel for is God. He is all I need. And yet somehow I was lost for words when Doctor Turner complimented me. Well I don't usually get compliments, especially from men. That must be it. It was just a shock from receiving compliments." She thought to herself. She laughed aloud and smiled to herself after coming to this conclusion. How could she ever have though it was something more?


	3. Chapter 3

"Poor Cynthia" thought Sister Bernadette whilst setting the table, "Loosing a baby so quickly after delivery is always hard but to face an inquiry is breaking her. She has been under intense questioning from police and women all over Poplar are gossiping about her. You can see she is struggling. She has dark circles around her eye because she must be lying awake all night trying to think how she went wrong. She told me the procedure she went through and as usual it was perfect. But she won't believe any of us that it is not of her doing. Sometimes God work has to go unquestioned. He sets us challenges to face or opportunities to become a better person. Maybe this is Cynthia's challenge… something good has to come from it doesn't it?..."

Just as she finished setting the table she heard a knock at the door. She made her way through the corridor and as she opened the door a cold draft blew through the house. Her stomach did a little flip as she found herself caught yet again in the gaze of Doctor Turner. She was lost for words as she stared at his hair which has been ruffled by the wind. As she started to gather her thoughts Doctor Turner speaks.

"Hello Sister" He says breaking the silence, "May I come in?"

Flushing and looking towards her feet she says, "Sorry Doctor, of course!"

As she closed the door behind him she started thinking to herself, "How could I be so careless leaving him standing in the cold. What has gotten into me? I need to get a handle on myself. I feel a little strange though. My heart is pounding and my hands are a little shaky. Maybe I am getting ill, oh I hope not."

She turned and was about to start walking through the corridor but what she didn't realise is that Doctor Turner was standing not far behind her. She collided with his chest and momentarily felt the warmth of his body. Suddenly realising what happened she jumped back, tripping over her long habit causing her to start falling backwards.

"Sister!" yelped Doctor Turner. Reaching out he caught her around the waist to stop her falling.

"Are you okay?" He said, his voice concerned.

"I am now. Thank-you Doctor." She said quietly, her Scottish accent coming through quite strongly in her distress. She began to blush again and looked down towards his hands, which were still clutching her waist.

"Oh! Sorry Sister!" He apologized and quickly removed his hands. They started walking up the corridor in silence, both lost in their own train of thought.

She could still feel the warmth of his hands burnt into her waist, almost tingling in their absence. She felt so embarrassed; maybe if she had looked before barging into him they could have avoided this. But remembering how close they were when she crashed into his chest and again when his strong hands caught her. When he had asked if she was okay his deep brown eyes had stared into her bright blue ones full of concern just for her. It made her heart flutter.

"STOP!" she thought to herself, "I can't be thinking like this! I shouldn't be feeling like this."

She tried to push him out of her mind but she could hear his footsteps right beside her and it was impossible not to think of him. Doctor Turner took a seat in the small room containing all the patient files.

"Would you stay here while I go speak to Nurse Miller." Said Sister Bernadette, requesting rather that questioning. She turned and walked from the room.

Doctor Turner did not answer, appearing to be absorbed in his work but really was in deep thought.

"What am I doing? She is a Nun for Christ's sake… And that is a perfect example of why I should not be thinking of her like this. I have no religion or faith and she is a Nun with sacred vows to god. A beautiful Nun at that… Most of her body is covered by the habit. I often wonder what her hair is like. But she is no doubt beautiful with her flawless skin and perfectly shaped lips. Oh and those piercing blue eyes… I am always trying to avoid that capturing gaze. When I saw her falling earlier my natural instinct was to reach out and catch her. I did not even realise I had left my hands on her waist until I could see her obvious discomfort… It just felt so natural holding her like that… I did not know how thin she was until today. She is always covered in that habit which gives nothing away but holding her today made me realise how fragile she really is. Oh I wish I didn't need an excuse to hold her like that." He thought to himself longingly as he heard her footsteps behind him.

"These are all of Nurse Millers notes" Said Sister Bernadette, "And, please, you're most welcome to join us for dinner."

"Thank you but I want to try and get a bit ahead of the enquiry." He declined politely.

She felt this was her cue to leave but she lingered not wanting to leave his presence.

"Is there anything else I can get you Doctor Turner?" She asked.

"Some of your faith perhaps" He said, "It's at time like this I wish I had one."

"It's at times like this I wish it made a difference." She replied without thinking and regretted it at once. How could she have said such a thing about her god?

Doctor Turner looked up from his work shocked at what he was hearing. Was she doubting her faith? Did this mean…

"Sorry, I should leave you to your work." She almost whispered, ashamed with herself. She turned to leave but Doctor Turner stopped her.

"No, please, stay!" He said, almost desperately, "Take tea with me."

"I'm expected in the dining room." She said and walked from the room.

His faced dropped.

"What did I expect? A yes? Of course she doesn't doubt her faith. Of course this doesn't mean she is interested. Again she is a committed Nun and also very kind. Maybe I am just getting her kindness mixed up with what I wish was there. Since when did I start feeling this way? It has snuck up on me and all of a sudden hit me. But nothing can come of it. I will have to restrain myself and put her out of my mind… although I admit that is becoming increasingly hard. I will just have to throw myself into the inquiry and give it my all." He thought to himself feeling extremely conflicted. He looked down to the notes and gave a small sigh of indignation.  
XXXXXXXXXXXX

It was an hour after Compline and Sister Bernadette could still not fall asleep. Her head was too busy replaying the day's events, in particular the memories containing Doctor Turner. She still felt ashamed about what she had said of her faith. What must he think of her? She was a Nun not respecting her faith… But she did respect her faith fully and she loved god like no other. But how was it she could not get another man out of her head? When Doctor Turner has asked her to take tea with him she was so close to saying yes. Her heart was telling her one thing but her brain another. She wondered what would have happened if she had taken tea with him? Nothing would have happed she was a Nun of course and he was just her colleague. A colleague and nothing more. But then why for the last few weeks could she not get him out of her mind? Any spare moment she had no matter how hard she tried, her thoughts had drifted to him. She had never felt this way.

"I-is it possible that I could have… feelings for him?" She thought to herself in a panic, "I mean the idea is absurd but what else could explain it. I thought this was totally platonic at first it was professional respect or a budding friendship but if it is why can I get him out of my head? And every time I see him my body seems to react… my heart races, my stomach does little backflips, my hands shake, I sweat and I seem to be at loss for words and flush furiously at the hint of a compliment. I mean this is what I have heard the other nurses talking about around the dinner table. Apparently these are the signs of a crush. But this can't be. This can't happened to me. I am a Nun! I love god. I can't love another man. Can I? No I can't. I have taken sacred vows. Oh I don't know what to do… I will just have to deny myself this feeling. It can't be too hard. I will just have to be completely professional. I can't let him distract me. I will just have to ignore his lovely smile, and his constantly tussled hair and those deep brown eyes that just… Stop I have to stop… Think of god and all he has done for me... and sleep."

That night she tossed and turned with a deep furrow in her brow. Many times she came close to tears because of these conflicted feelings and did not end up getting any sleep. The other midwives and Nuns seemed to notice saying she looked tired and asking if she was feeling well. She lied telling them she had had an upset stomach but denied the offer of a day off. More time to think was definitely what she did not need but throwing herself into some distracting work sounded perfect.

**Sorry if there were any grammatical mistakes I was writing this at about 1.30 in the morning whilst falling asleep. But I really wanted to update my story for you. As my holidays finish and my studies commence again on Monday so I do not know how much time I will have to write but I will fit it in as often as possible. **


	4. Chapter 4

**Hello.. I am so very sorry it has taken this long to update. I could give you all my excuses of exams and blah blah blah but it am sure you don't want to hear it. Anyway, this was also a particularly hard scene to write a) because there is a lot of talking that I had to cut out and b) it was so long. Now that it is done I hope you enjoy and I promise you that the next chapter update will not take as long as this did. Enjoy and feel free to review.**

Sister Bernadette was woken by a gentle knock at the door.

"Sister Bernadette?" Asked a woman.

Sister Bernadette took a second to register the voice but then replied, "Yes Trixie?"

"I'm afraid you will have to get up right away. We have a man at the door saying that Mave Carter is crying out something awful. I am going to assume that the hundred year old books they have, have helped them figure out she is in labour. I have called Doctor Turner to meet us there as she is rather old for a first mother and I think it is a necessary precaution." She explained.

"Okay Trixie. I will be with you in a few minutes" Said Sister Bernadette while her heart pounded at the mention of his name.

She was up and dressed within a minute. As she returned her brush to the draw she spotted her lipstick. Nuns were not meant to wear makeup of any sort but Sister Julienne allowed it on special occasions, like weddings. She had not worn it for years so why was the temptation drawing her now. She would most likely be home and able to wash it off before any of the other Nuns saw.

She picked it up and applied it to her lips skilfully. It made her soft lips look full and defined.

"Am I just putting this on because I know Doctor Turner is going to be there?" She thought to herself.

She had done well at distracting herself this week by throwing herself into menial task. Even at Tuesday's antenatal clinic she had kept a level head but could not stop her stomach doing little flips at the sight of him. Why ruin her good run now?

Just as she went to wipe off the lipstick Trixie yelled out, "Sister, where are you?"

"Coming!" She said and dashed from the room, meeting Trixie at the front doors with her delivery pack.

"You look nice tonight Sister!" Said Trixie, winking seductively.

"Oh Trixie. I don't know why I put it on. I know full well that Nuns aren't allowed to wear makeup. I don't know what came over me…" Blurted Sister Bernadette, while they made their way to the bicycle shed.

Trixie sensed her distress and said, "It's okay Sister, your secret is safe with me. We all have to give into temptation every now and again otherwise there would be no such concept. And I don't suppose you give in very often."

"No, I wouldn't say I do. Thank You!" Said Sister Bernadette, her anguish feeling a little eased as she fixed her delivery pack onto her bicycle and climbed on. They wound their way through the dirty streets with a light fog obscuring their vision. When they arrived a very nervous looking man opened the door and pointed through the house.

"Through this door 'ere" said Mr Carter. He returned to the kitchen table and the midwives made their way through the door.

"Hello Mrs Carter" Said Trixie, and nodded towards the other sister, "Mrs Carter."

"WHAT YOU DOIN' 'ERE?" Shouted Meg.

Trixie huffed and waspishly replied, "Turning the light on for a start."

Meg began to squabble about the light and was quickly shut up by Trixie who could at times be as sharp as a knife. While this was going on Sister Bernadette found a suitable place for her instruments and suddenly caught sight of herself in the mirror. She had already forgotten she was wearing makeup and why… she could hear the arguments continuing in the background knowing Trixie could handle Meg, so Sister stayed quiet. Until she heard two words…

"_Doctor Turner _will be popping 'round soon and if he sees your sister in this contraption he will drag it out from under her and chop it up as fire wood!" Trixie said sternly with a glare to match.

"I'll chop 'im up!" Meg yelled. Sister Bernadette suddenly got very defensive, as had been becoming a regular occurrence over the past month or two.

"I'm sure you'll do no such thing," Sister Bernadette said, with raised eyebrows that conveyed a 'don't-mess-with-me' attitude, "You will be too busy helping us with preparations."

"Who sent for ya?" Yelled Meg.

"No one we operate purely on telepathy!" Replied Trixie sarcastically.

XXXXXXXXXXX

Meg had left the room and the labour was progressing smoothly when Doctor Turner arrived. When this happened Sister Bernadette hastily busied herself in tiding her already spotless instruments while a flush crept up her neck. She could hear Trixie filling him in on the details as she attempted to calm herself. When she felt composed enough, believing she had put up some strong mental barriers Doctor Turner greeted her with one of his big winning smiles and bright eyes.

"Evening Sister." He said casually.

"Good Evening Doctor Turner." She tried to say as formally as possible while his smile made her heart pound and those mental barriers melt as though they were ice on a hot summer's day. There was not much more time for conversation as the birth began to progress. It was going so well it was almost text-book standard.

She had been fighting the urge to turn around and look at him, knowing that her mind should be solely on the task at hand. But now as the birth neared completion she had a real reason to start a conversation. She turned around to find that his gaze was already fixed upon her. Was it possible that he was beginning to blush? Of course not it was just the heat of the room she thought to herself.

"Would you like to step forward Doctor so you can hand baby to mother when it is born?" She asked. He nodded and stepped by her, passing her so close she thought she could feel the heat radiating off his body. This was all getting too much; I thought she had decided that she didn't have feelings for this man. She kept denying herself this but then what was it. Why was the mention of his name enough to make her skin tingle and her heart pound? Even if for some absurd reason she did have feelings for a man. Why this man that she had known for years? What had changed? And if, even if they were true feelings she couldn't possibly act on them. She was a nun. That was one of the most important rules, she was married to god and this would essentially be being disloyal to him. And if her brain was telling her not to act why was her body and heart telling her otherwise. No matter how hard she tried to deny herself her body still reacted to the closeness of his.

She felt tears begin to well in her eyes but if anyone asked she would just say she was pleased about the birth. Which had just then occurred jolting her mind out of despair and into action as she wrapped the baby into a swaddle and handed it to Doctor Turner. She watched as his strong but gentle arms grasped the baby and handed it to Mave.

XXXXXX

As Doctor Turner was about to leave he was called back into the room by Trixie where he was given the announcement of twins. Sister Bernadette told him that the baby was lying side on and she was going to have to turn it.

He watched in awe as her face became fully concentrated and determined. Not only her arms worked to turn the baby but the full force of her body was behind it. As the slow struggle progressed he watched her face; the deep furrowing of her brow, the slight sweat on her forehead and the way she pushed her tongue against the skin of her lower lip. Those lips that he could not take his eyes off. She had definitely done something to them. They looked large, soft and full of a colour that was oh so inviting.

He mentally hit himself, this was Sister Bernadette he was thinking about. And she was a Nun, albeit a beautiful one. That was just one of the many reasons why he could not have her. Another important factor is that she would never feel the same way, she couldn't for obvious reasons. But lately he could feel this tension between them that had never been there before, although maybe that was just him imagining.

He recalled many weeks ago when he had been awoken by Sister Bernadette at his desk after falling asleep. The next day when he returned he noticed that the button which had been missing off his clinical coat had been sown back on. Could it have been her? Was that the sole reason for her visit to the clinic that late at night? No probably not, but still the thought lingered with him.

The birth had swiftly taken a turn for the worse and if either baby or mother was to have a chance at survival this baby would have to be delivered quickly with the use of forceps. This was quite a painful but necessary procedure. Mave began screaming at the pain rapidly mounted.

All of a sudden Meg crashed into the room ripping Doctor Turner away from Mave and across the room into a set of draws. Sister Bernadette was shocked but quickly scrabbled across the room trying to pull Meg off the Doctor. As she did Meg turned around and gave her an all mighty slap across the face knocking Sister to the ground with a loud gasp.

Seeing this filled Doctor Turner with a white hot rage. He was never one to hit a woman but oh boy did he want to. Seeing Sister so small smacked to the ground brought out a protective instinct in him.

Standing up and doing all he could to contain his rage he said "Mrs Carter! We are doing all we can for your sister and her baby. If you interfere again you will lose one or the other, I can't rule out that you might lose both."

From there on everyone's focus was on Mave. The next baby was born a girl but it did not appear to be breathing. A look of concern washed over the faces of all in the room. Sister Bernadette quickly wrapped up the small girl and walked towards her instruments.

"Mucus extractor" Requested Sister Bernadette. Quickly after this, the mother's placenta came away but with it was a large haemorrhaged. Both mother and baby were in serious states of concern. Doctor Turner had done all he could for Mave while awaiting an ambulance whereas Sister Bernadette was still struggling to awake the new born.

Doctor Turner heard Sister Bernadette's voice which sounded strong but equally as worried, that she would have to try Eve's Rocking. Which was not a method they often used but he placed his full trust in Sister Bernadette as a midwife who had had years of experience. Slowly she lowered the baby and the brought it back up, in between these movements she blew air from her lungs to try and fill the infants. Watching her even in these dire circumstances made him happy, and he felt a faint smile touch his lips. In this moment dressed in her nurses habit of full white she truly looked like an angel sent from god. He could feel the hope draining from everyone in the room but she continued to try.

After what seemed like an age she brought the baby up yet again. But this time the baby made a small grunt and then began to whimper.

In a voice no louder than a whisper he heard her say, "Praise the Lord."

This brought a smile to his face as he thought that she could not be any more perfect. Grinning she brought the small baby over to Mave, who had now also stabilised. As the two twin sister's held on to one of the twin baby daughter's each nobody could keep a smile of their faces. This was indeed a special moment for all.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Trixie left immediately as she was called to another birth which left Sister Bernadette and Doctor Turner cleaning the room together. No words were spoken in front of the two sister's but once they had left the room they began to converse.

"That was a marvellous ending to what could have been a disaster, don't you think?" Said Doctor Turner brightly.

Sister Bernadette looked up and smiled at him and replied, "Just wonderful."

Before they began to make their way down the stair's Doctor Turner stopped and turned to Sister Bernadette. He could see a slight purple swelling beginning to appear underneath her eye where Meg had struck her. And he slowly began raising his hand to her face.

Seeing this her heart began to pound. What was happening? His hand was slowly raising towards her face. Getting closer and closer.

"Doctor?" She asked confused but also rooted to the spot. She couldn't have moved if she had wanted to.

The tough, callused but smooth skin of his large hand cupped the soft skin of her cheek with ease. She could feel the warmth from his warm hand flooding into the cool of her cheek. She was looking directly at his eyes not daring to move her head but he seemed to be distracted by something. Slowly his fingers moved to gently caress her cheek bone beneath her eye. She flinched surprised by the sharp pain the followed.

"Sorry!" He said and quickly withdrew his hand, "You will need to get some ice onto that…"

"Is that Doctor's orders?" She said with a smile.

"Yes. Yes it is." He replied with his kind smile and turned to walk down the stairs.

Once they had made it to his car she waited while he put his bag away, it didn't feel right to leave just yet.

"We're like an officer and a sergeant the morning after the Somme," He said and then clarified "And that is not to say I see myself as the officer."

She smiled but remained silent, had upstairs been too much? He didn't intend it to be that way but he had felt a tension between them. But he still was unsure if he was just imagining it.

After taking a long drag on his cigarette he said jokingly "I feel as though I should offer you one."

After a moments silences she said "Just a puff."

It took him a moment to register what she had said and a look of shock crossed his face.

He smiled and said "Of this?"  
"Quickly," She replied grinning "Just a wee one."

This was a revelation to him. Never in his wildest dreams had he expected this. It was just a joke but then again she really was still a mystery to him. He watched her eagerly while she took a puff not sure what her reaction would be. It was quite possible she would breakout in a coughing fit. But no, it was like she was an old professional.

She sighed as she exhale "What are these?"

"Henley's" He replied.

"Oh... Henley's," She said "I loved Henley's. They were the kind my father used to smoke. I used to sneak one out of his desk sometimes when I was about 14."

Before handing it back she took another drag and said "Thank you."

"You've earned it." He said while wondering if this woman could surprise him any more. They both smiled at each other before she looked down at her feet and walked away. For the next hour they were both still smiling from the memory of their first conversation which did not involve work.


End file.
